Casual sex, Pinterest and this totally rad blog I just created

Lakeidra Chavis

Lately, I’ve wondered about the political state of women in our country. I’ve wondered about the title “feminist” and how most women will deny that they are one because of the stigma placed on it. I’ve wondered about the progress of black people, mostly women, and how just like any minority, we are now simultaneously the oppressed and the oppressors of our rights and liberation. Basically, I’ve wondered about a lot of stuff.

But all of these thoughts did not lead me to create this blog. It was a combination of Pinterest and a rotten incident yesterday that inspired me. The Pinteret one is easy, I created a board to express my feminist ideology and it was completely rad. Feminism is one of the few things I can actually be outside of  Pinterest. The  second was a close guy friend asking me if I would have casual sex with him. His reasons: his heart was recently broken and I seemed like the type of girl to say yes. Let’s get one thing straight, I’m not that type of girl. He asked the completely non serious question via text message. I’m serious.

I’d like to think my reaction was completely reasonable. I told him that I was not going to be anyone’s casual rebound fuck and that I deserve better than that. I’m not offended by casual sex. I think if two adults are willing and able than they should do it. I was offended by the fact that it wasn’t due to my intellect, humor, talent, ambition or awesome lip-syncing that drove him to ask the question. He asked the question because I had a vagina! After I sent him a lovely text message back, he apologized. I asked to speak to him in person and he’s managed to avoid me despite the fact that he’s my next door neighbor. He wanted “to forget the whole thing happened actually.” I’m still serious.

But I’m not alone. The objectification of women is everywhere. Women, especially minority women are objectified every day. It just takes a different form. From our chopped up bodies on billboards  to “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That” memes, we are constantly made out to be eye candy, unintelligent or unable to take a joke when we think that Seth MacFarlane’s “We Saw Your Boobs” performance at the Grammy’s is extremely offensive.

So, I’ve created this blog for the woman who will be raped by the time you finish this post, for the one in four college women who will be sexually assaulted, for the one in four who will have eating disorders,  for the one in five high school girls that have been raped, for the 2.7 percent black minority at my college, for the black girls who score the lowest in every standardized testing category in the country, for the women who don’t speak out and for the women who do, for every woman who thought she wasn’t good enough- this blog is for you.

We’re black, we’re feminist and we.are.rising.

Oh, and I know this post is too long for a blog but oh well, gotta start breaking the rules somewhere.

2 Responses to “Casual sex, Pinterest and this totally rad blog I just created”
  1. Rob says:

    Does a request for sex, casual or committed, objectify you? I’m guessing he’s yearning for the intimacy he has lost.

  2. Nicole says:

    He may want intimacy, but it’s demeaning to her for him to ask like that. It did objectify her, because it doesn’t sound like he wanted to be with her for her. He wanted a female companion, and she “fit the bill.” She deserves more than that.
    Love this blog, by the way! Very well written!

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